Utilize a Number of Models and Theories
I have been able to work with a number of people throughout the years on individual goals and needs. This has included everything from helping people cope with a transition in life to helping them deal with an addiction, a traumatic event, or coping with mental health challenges. In this process, I utilize a number of different theories and models depending on the situation. There are times when we need to resolve issues in a person’s life and we will utilize Solution Focused Therapy. At other times, we will seek to embrace a more empowering narrative for their life using Narrative Therapy. In the midst of utilizing these models, we might discover reactions to various aspects of life and explore them utilizing Experiential Therapy, or even Emotionally Focused Therapy.
Benefits of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
One of the main theories that I enjoy utilizing is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. This model uses the idea that our thoughts influence our actions. So, if you have a reaction to a particularly frightening situation, such as being robbed by someone with a weapon, it is not because they pull out the weapon that you begin to feel scared. It is the thoughts you have about them pulling it out that influences your feelings. We know that some people who use (or abuse) certain substances that affect their cognitions could begin laughing if someone pulled a weapon on them, because their thoughts were funny and not frightening. This indicates that the thoughts we have are really important and influence our emotions in particular situations. Therefore, we want to make sure they are accurate and empowering. However, many people find the thoughts under the surface are not completely accurate and cripple them instead of empower them. Working together we can begin to influence our experience of life by embracing new thoughts.
Understanding and Processing Beliefs
Even more powerful than the thoughts we embrace are the beliefs we hold. I tell many people that what we believe influences us in many ways, so we need to make sure this is accurate. If we begin to say things about ourselves, this can become a belief. Once this becomes a belief we do one of two things; we either live it out, or go out of our way in life to try to prove it is not true despite believing on the inside that it is indeed true. We seem to want to have plausible deniability, that if no one out there confirms what I believe on the inside I can deny it. Therefore, we greatly fear having anyone start confirming on the outside what we believe about ourselves on the inside. This leads to burning ourselves out making sure that the opposite is seen and confirmed in our life, not allowing anyone to say we are truly a failure or some other negative belief we may hold.
Understanding the Role of Memories
Some of this work on internal beliefs may lead back to memories and experiences from the past which helped solidify these negative beliefs. Much of the time we don’t know why we believe these negative things. Through therapy we often discover the origin. Many times these beliefs will go back to earlier in life at a younger age when our brain was not fully developed. During this time we tried to understand a difficult experience, but with an undeveloped brain and being developmentally egocentric we create an interpretation that wrongly takes the responsibility and criticizes ourselves. In addition, once this is embraced our brain will continue to use this understanding for the next incident, and then the next until unfortunately, there are solidified negative beliefs about ourselves. Once we locate the origin of the beliefs we are able to use experiential forms of therapy such as EMDR to help embrace more empowering thoughts and beliefs.
Unhealthy or Harmful Sexual Behaviors
I have been able to help many clients over the years deal with unhealthy or harmful sexual behaviors. This includes helping people deal with sexual addiction, heal from sexual abuse, or even treating someone that has been court ordered to have sexual offender treatment. In addition, I have many years of experience working with families of sexual offenders go through the process, receive healing, and work toward reunification when this is appropriate. The methods utilized can vary depending on the situation and if this is a need I can explore this more over the phone or in person.
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Healing Waters Counseling 